Conscious living Practice 19 - Exercise Caution

The other day my friend told me about an incident she witnessed where a young girl was crossing the road wearing headphones in her ears and unable to hear sounds of vehicles, accidentally bumped into a cyclist, hurting herself. Now, clearly if she had exercised some caution, the incident could have been avoided. Just like her, if we were to scrutinize our own lives, we would realize that we too sometimes miss exercising caution, where being cautious can be of help. 

Today onward I invite you to start building awareness to being cautious. This will definitely involve you to be mindful and take necessary steps to live a courageous but cautious life. 

Some examples of exercising caution : 

- Be mindful while walking on the road of vehicles around. Walk on pavement meant for pedestrians.

- Be careful while driving. Drive on the lane meant for driving and never overtake from the wrong side.

- Wear helmet while riding on a bike. Your head is the most precious part of your body. Protect it.  

- Do regular medical check ups. If you haven't done one in a long time, then schedule one now. 
- When the weather is cold and wind chilly, cover your ears and keep yourself warm.

These are just a few examples, I am sure you can think of many more where you can exercise caution. 

#consciousliving #practice19 #exercisecaution 

Conscious living Practice 18 - Minimize Procrastination

We all have that one task that we know we have to do, but keep putting off. Work accumulates over time and begins to hang over our head like the sword of Damocles. There is a very popular Doha of poet Kabirdas which most of us must have read in school. It reads -  kaal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so ab, pal mein pralaya hoyegi bahuri karoge kab. It means : 

"What you have to do tomorrow, do today. And what you have to do today, do now. If the moment is lost, then how will you do the work". Basically, do whatever needs to be done now.

A very wise advice and something that can simplify our lives if we were to adopt it. 

I invite you to become a little more conscious of the tendency to procrastinate and to try to minimize it by trying to accomplish those tasks that you have been putting off🙂 

#consciousliving #practice18 #minimizeprocrastinstion 

Conscious living Practice 17 - Solution oriented approach

I felt this was the most relevant follow up practice to, Acceptance. When situations are difficult, it doesn't serve us to deny reality. Once we have accepted reality for what it is, we can have a 'solution oriented approach' and look at what we can do, to improve our situation. 

Problems are a part of existence, so instead of focusing on the problem and lamenting over it, let us train ourselves to focus on the solutions. 

The following image of what's in our control and what's not, is a very useful reminder that we can use in our life:

Join me, from this day on, to first accept anything that life throws at you. Time taken to accept a situation will depend  on the magnitude of the situation. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Once you have taken that first step, become solution oriented. 

#consciousliving #practice17 #solutionorientedapproach

Conscious living Practice 16 - Acceptance

I came across this really beautiful bunch of phrases on 'Acceptance'. It read:

When we don't accept an undesired event, it becomes anger;
When we accept it, it becomes tolerance.
When we don't accept uncertainty, it becomes fear;
When we accept it, it becomes adventure.
When we don't accept others bad behavior, it becomes hatred;
When we accept it, it becomes forgiveness.
When we don't accept others success, it becomes jealousy;
When we accept it, it becomes inspiration.

While most of you reading this, will be touched by it, and nod your heads in agreement, you will also agree with me, when I say that as much as it's beautiful and true, it's equally difficult and challenging to apply these concepts into our lives. 

When we are "non accepting" of our reality, we are resisting 'what is'. We have certain ideas about how things should be, or in other words, expectations. And when our expectations are not met, we get upset. 

Its important to understand that the expectations are nothing but ideas created by none other than ourselves. So if we can let go of the expectations / ideas of how things should be, and embrace what is, then our disappointment will not only be less, but can be transformed into something positive, as in the phrases we just read. 

I invite you to join me in becoming mindful of whenever you find yourself resisting reality. You can use the practice of 'accepting emotions as is' (conscious living practice 9) to deal with an unpleasant emotion. Become aware of the gap between expectations and reality and see if you can minimize that by altering your expectations or better still letting go of them. 

As you open up more and more to whatever situations present in front of you, the more easily life flows through you. 

#consciousliving #practices #Acceptance

Conscious living Practice 15 - Be Enthusiastic

I have mentioned in an earlier post as well that most of us live our lives like we are here forever. It's important to remind ourselves from time to time that every moment is going to pass and become a memory and it is up to us how
we wish to experience each ephemeral moment. 

Each moment is fresh and unique and offers us a choice of receiving it as we would like. Begin consciously shaping your experience with involvement and enthusiasm. 

Just to give an example, when I have too many utensils to wash ( when my maid is on leave ), I like to first switch into a 'gratitude mindset' and thank the universe for the abundance of food and utensils in my life and a chance to serve my family, I then like to play some music in the background if that's possible, and clean the vessels in a mindful and enthusiastic way. This transforms my entire experience. Boring chores such as drying clothes, folding clothes etc when done mindfully can be transformed into an enjoyable experience. And what to say of truly enjoyable experiences, such as dancing or singing? These can be made truly divine. 

Today onward, I invite you to start adding a bit of enthusiasm into each of your life experiences, and notice how that makes you feel, and notice how that transforms your experience. 

#consciousliving #practice 15 # be enthusiastic

Conscious living Practice 14 - Random Acts of Kindness

I read this beautiful quote by Ram Dass, a Buddhist teacher and author, it said: 

 "I invite you, when you are caught in your stuff and your heart is closed, to find someone else who is suffering - to be there with them for a moment. What I find when my heart is closed is that purity of their heart pulls me out of myself very quickly. For those of you who have gotten caught in individualism and separation - the act of serving another human being is a doorway back into your connection to the universe. Their real need pulls you out of yourself." 

I found that quote really beautiful. When we give our kind attention to others, we feel connected to them and the universe at large. Its like a little break from our own egoic selves. 

Just like the practice of loving kindness that we spoke about in post 10 ( conscious living practice 10 ), performing random acts of kindness has the capacity to open our hearts and connect with people around us. 

Like most other practices, this too requires us to practice it, consciously. 

Most days we are so absorbed in ourselves that we don't even recognize the opportunities that present themselves before us where we can show kindness. 

I invite you to actively start looking out for opportunities to show kindness - to your loved ones, family, friends, strangers, to animals, to your environment. And notice how that makes you feel. And how that alters your perception of the universe. 

#consciouslivingpractice14 #randomactsofkindness

Conscious living Practice 13 - Self Assertiveness

Self Assertiveness is an offshoot of Self love. The more we love ourselves, the more we value our thoughts, emotions and needs. And the more likely we are to be assertive of them. 

So if you haven't been practicing enough self love, then I suggest you go back to post 5 of this blog on "Self love" and strengthen that practice. 

I started the practice of Self love with a journal where I would write down all the things I loved about myself on a daily basis. I also did the mirror image exercise of looking into my own eyes in the mirror and telling myself, I love you. All this helped me to love and respect myself more and more. One day, someone said something that I felt wasn't right, and I immediately put forth my point of view in a polite but firm way. This really surprised me and I kept thinking, what just happened?. May be a few years back I would not have spoken out my feelings so eloquently. At that moment I knew it was the self love practice that did it. It made me more self assertive. 

Nathaniel Branden in his book, The 6 Pillars of Self esteem defines Self Assertiveness as "honoring ones wants, needs, and values and seeking appropriate forms of their expression in reality". 

He also goes on to add, that "Self Assertion does not mean belligerence or inappropriate aggression. It simply means the willingness to stand up for oneself, to be who you are openly, and to treat yourself with respect in all human encounters. It means the refusal to fake your person to be liked." I could not have defined self assertiveness as eloquently as that. 

Now that we all know what self assertiveness is, let's start becoming conscious of how many times we say, yes, when we want to say No. Let's begin to first recognize it's occurrence. Next, let's try to examine why this happens - are we trying to please someone? Is there some sort of fear/ insecurity? This sort of investigation will reveal to us more about our own personality. If we realize that this is happening more often than we would like, then we can remind ourselves the following - 

- Our life does not belong to others and we are not here to live up to other people's expectations.
- Our life is important and our time is limited. Saying yes to something means saying no to something else. Can we afford to make that compromise? 
- Let's be good to ourselves first, before being good to someone else.

Once we start standing up and speaking for our self, we will develop the confidence to do so more often and soon it will become second nature. The more we practice self assertiveness, the more authentic and real we

become. 

#consciouslivingpractices #practice13 #self assertiveness

Conscious living Practice 12 - Minimize Distractions

Today we live in a world where there are just too many distractions causing our attention to forever remain outward. 

Unless we get conscious, we will find ourselves getting overly influenced by what we see - on television, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube etc etc etc. Too many voices, that cause us to still our own voice. 

From today become more conscious of how many things take your attention away from being grounded in your body. In practice 2, we spoke about being physically relaxed at all times. If you are not present in your body, then you are not likely to know, when your body is tensed. 

So, from today start doing a "social media / electronic gadget fast" where you consciously decide to stay away from your phone ( use it for just taking calls ) / TV/ internet for at least 8 hours of your waking time. Use this time to connect with your immediate environment, and also to stay connected with your own body and breath. If 8 hours feels too much, then begin with 4. Any time away from distractions, will only do you good 😊

#consciousliving # practice12 #minimize distractions

Conscious living Practice 11 - Respond with love

We need to train ourselves to 'respond with love' because in general we are habituated to snap/ get irritated easily. This happens, because of the activation of our "survival brain", that starts feeling threatened at any sort of opposition from the environment.

Unless we train ourselves to respond with love, our snapping response will become habitual and we lose the opportunity to train our conscious mind to be loving and peaceful. Which will then over time become a subconscious response. And that's when a real change would have occurred at the deepest level. 

To become more conscious of how you are responding to people in your life, ask yourself if your response to others is coming from a place of 'offering love and encouragement' or from a place of 'fear/ insecurity'?

When we find ourselves being reactive, we can pause and remind ourselves that our life as well as our relationships are temporary, and from that place of knowledge, respond. 

We can look at unpleasant situations in relationships as opportunities for us to practice, 'responding with love'. Also 'responding with love', doesn't mean that we tolerate unhealthy behavior towards our-self. If someone is purposefully mean to us, we can and should put our foot down and speak our mind in a firm way, but there is no need to 'hate the person'. We definitely need to stand up for ourselves. Even remove ourselves from a situation that is harmful for our well being. But when it comes to less harmful situations such as a petty argument with a spouse or situations where say our children are irritating us, we can pause and choose a loving response. 

Let's begin to notice how 'responding with love' alters our experience 🙂

#consciousliving #practice11 #respondwithlove

Conscious living Practice 10 - Loving Kindness

This is a wonderful practice to open the heart and experience the feeling of connection with one and all.

To do this simply send out mental messages such as the following to everyone you know - Yourself, loved ones, family, friends, acquaintances, and even your enemies 🙂

May you be happy and peaceful 

May your body be healthy and strong

May you be safe and protected

May you live with ease and joy 

Sometimes, I like to send these messages out to even strangers who I come across on the roads, and it really makes me feel connected with them. 

When someone is being rude to you, try sending out a message of "loving kindness" to them and see what happens. I invite you to try this and notice how it makes you feel. 

#consciousliving #practice10 #lovingkindness

Conscious living Practice 9 - Accepting emotions as is

I love this particular quote by Jack Kornfield, a Buddhist teacher. It reads, "If you can sit quietly after difficult news, if in financial downturns you remain perfectly calm, if you can see your neighbors travel to fantastic places without a twinge of jealousy, if you can always find contentment just where you are, you are probably a dog 🐕 " 😀

As humans it is only natural for us to feel angry, or jealous, or irritated. But we have the tendency to label these emotions as 'negative' and would do anything to immediately get rid of them or judge ourselves as being bad, just because we had one of these, so called, 'negative emotions'. 

The truth is, each of these emotions, serve a purpose, which is why they are there, and once we accept them, it becomes easier for us to deal with them. I read this poem by Rumi called "The Guest House'. It goes like this : 

The 'guest' is each of your emotions - pleasant and unpleasant. Let them in. And let them pass when their work is done. 

I learnt a very powerful technique from Tara Brach, a Buddhist teacher and author of the book, Radical acceptance. It's called, RAIN, which is an acronym for: 

R : Recognize ( recognize the presence of the emotion )

A : Allow ( instead of running away from the emotion, face it, and allow it to exist )

I : Investigate ( notice where you feel the emotion in the body, what are the physical sensations associated with the emotion. Stay with it ) 

N : Nurture and Non identification( place your hand on your heart, and ask yourself, what is needed to be done? Find a way to nurture yourself. Do not become identified with the emotion. Know that you are "NOT" the emotion. You just have the emotion and it will pass) 

I love this technique and use it whenever I encounter an uncomfortable emotion ( I prefer to call it uncomfortable over negative 🙂 ). And my way of nurturing myself usually involves journaling, listening to soothing music and spending some quite time. You can find your own choice of nurturing. 

There is one more Mindfulness technique that can be applied when you feel hassled. It's called taking a "SNACK break" 😀. Refer below for the acronym expansion:

Next time you have an unpleasant emotional experience, try to use these techniques and increase your awareness around them. Remember, the only way around is through it.🙂

#consciousliving #practice9 #acceptemotionsasis

Conscious living Practice 8 - Forgiveness

As humans we are bound to make mistakes. Holding very high standards for ourselves and becoming overly self critical can cause us to unconsciously harbor self resentment. 

Unless we are mindful, we won't even realize the critical self talk taking place. We can all learn to forgive ourselves, each day. Forgiving ourselves does not mean we keep committing the same mistakes again and again. It is important to be mindful of the mistake, and learn from it, but there is no need to criticize oneself for having committed the mistake. Allow yourself to be human, susceptible to err. As in our self love practice, be gentle and kind with yourself. 

The more you learn to forgive yourself, the more willing you would be to forgive others. Just as you allow yourself to be human enough to make mistakes, allow others too🙂 Again forgiving does not mean condoning the wrong doing. We can learn to set healthy boundaries in order to safe guard ourselves from future hurt. But we need not continually harbor resentment against the people who wronged us as that will only harm us in the long run. Let go of the resentment and be free. 

Here, is a forgiveness prayer that you can say each night, before going to bed, or just whenever you find the time: 

#consciousliving #practice8 #forgiveness 

Conscious living Practice 7 - Be Consistent

By adopting a conscious living lifestyle, we learn to simplify our lives and be at ease. Many people I know start approaching these practices as something that needs to be done and get on with, like checking a task list. Such an approach may not give the right result.

It is very important to be clear with, "why" we do what we do. Setting a clear intention, so we know what we are striving towards. Once we have that in place, consistency follows. Not just for these practices, but anything that you take up, be it learning a new skill, or getting better at something you are already doing, requires you to put in the effort every single day. And a little effort each day, will add up, to give you the result you seek.

So set clear intention for your practices and stay consistent 🙂

#consciousliving #practice7 #consistency

  

Conscious living Practice 6 - Connect with your heart

If there is one message that should go out from all the teachers/ Guru's / saints, it should be this - connect with your heart. The word "teacher" contains the word heart hidden in it. There is no greater teacher than your own heart. Unfortunately it is the one thing that we keep running away from with most of our attention constantly drawn outwards. Rumi says, " there is a voice that doesn't use words. Listen " and that's the voice of your heart. 

You can't listen to your heart when your mind is constantly chattering. So try to silence the mind first. You can do this by meditating on your breath. Find a quiet place to sit where you will not be disturbed and draw your awareness to your breath. Notice the quality and rhythm of your breath. Just notice without any judgement. Your mind is bound to wander and when this happens, and you realize that your mind has wandered, just gently bring your awareness back to your breath. When you start, just try to sit for 5 minutes, and gradually increase the duration. 

During this quiet time, you may get lot of insights, so keep a book handy to note them down. Try to set an intention to connect with your heart before every "quiet sitting" practice. Be consistent and try not to judge your practice. See how it goes and feel free to share your experience in the comments.

#consciousliving #practice6 #connectwithyourheart

Conscious living Practice 5 - Self love

Now, this one is HUGE, and can be a lifetime practice🙂

Whether we like it or not, it is a fact that we come into this life alone and we have to leave alone. People can walk by our side, but we need to take this journey by ourselves. And in this lone journey, don't you think we need to be there for ourselves more than anything else?

If you pay a little attention, you will notice that most of the time, our attention is drawn outward, which causes us to rely on outside factors for our own self esteem. If someone praises us, we feel happy and satisfied and if someone criticizes us, we tend to take it personally and start believing that we are not good enough. Our self worth eventually starts depending on what other people think or say of us. We also have the tendency to compare ourselves with others and feel good or bad basis who we compare ourselves with. As a result we end up having an emotional state that is not in our control but entirely dependent on outside factors.

Also people give us less credit than what's due to us. As children we used to get a lot of, " Good girl/ good boy / well done " etc but as adults we are hardly appreciated 🙂 But this doesn't have to dishearten us. Instead of relying always on outside appreciation, we can take the time to appreciate ourselves. And when this is done on a regular basis, our dependence on others for appreciation reduces. And we are less likely to feel bad when criticized, knowing very well our own self worth ( that we have taken the time to build ).

Now coming to the "how". You can choose to maintain a journal where you write down all the things that you love & admire about yourself ( it could be a physical feature or an internal quality ) or you could do some exercise to cultivate self love on a daily basis. 

Some ideas for practice: 

Mirror Image Exercise : Every morning look at yourself in the mirror, look into your own eyes and tell yourself, " I love you"🙂 Note, how it feels. If you find it odd, then maybe it's time to get to know and love yourself a little more. 

Some daily journal ideas : 

1. Write down your strengths

2. Write down some of your internal qualities that you love about yourself.

3. Write about an incident in your life where you showed a positive quality. Something you are proud of.

4. Write down one thing you would like to forgive yourself for.

5. Write positive affirmations to yourself. Write what resonates with you. 

6. Create a "nurture plan" for yourself. It could be some quiet time with a favorite book, a mindful walk, a nutritious meal. Your choice. 

7. Write a "self compassion" note to yourself, about a goof up you committed.

Actions you can take: 

1. Just for today, avoid junk food.

2. Write down all the things that make you happy, and do one of them. 

3. Spend an hour moving your body. 

4. Allow yourself to relax & rest 

The list can go on. Be creative and make sure you do something each day, to nurture yourself, get to know yourself, and love yourself "unconditionally". 

#consciousliving #practice5 #selflove

Conscious living Practice 4 - Express Gratitude

We may say that we practice gratitude, but unless we take the time to literally express gratitude each day, we are not really practicing it. 

In order to practice, you can choose to keep a "gratitude journal" ( physical or online ) where you write down/ key in, all the things that you are grateful for or you can make it a point to do a daily gratitude exercise or mix up the two🙂

I get my 5 year old daughter to say thanks to 5 people or things that she is grateful for, each day, before going to bed. And she never fails to surprise me by thanking something unusual :-)

Expressing gratitude regularly helps to train our minds to look at what's going right in our lives. This practice can enhance our happiness quotient and generate contentment for "what is".

They say, "what you focus on grows". So try to consciously practice focusing on the good in your life.

If you don't already have a physical or online journal ( there are several apps these days, though I personally prefer a physical one 🙂 ) , then I suggest you get one. 

Here are some ideas, for daily practice : 

1. You could write down all the things you are grateful for.

2. You can take a gratitude walk and appreciate everything around you in nature. 

3. You can express gratitude to all the people involved in bringing the food onto your table - from the farmer to the grocery guy to the person who prepared the meal. 

4. You can express thanks to a person in your life, you are grateful for.

5. You can write down all those things you are grateful for that you normally take for granted such as a safety pin or your hair rubber band.

6. You can express gratitude for your sense organs.

7. You can express gratitude to all the people who make your life beautiful.

8. You can express gratitude for any incident in your life that's made you strong.

9. You can express gratitude for any one Wonderful memory.

10. You can express gratitude towards little thoughtful gestures made by people.

The list can go on. Get creative and make sure you make "expressing gratitude" a way of life. 

#consciousliving #practice4 #expressgratitude

Conscious living Practice 3 - Create Mindful Moments

Many of us unconsciously practice mindfulness when we are in a state of flow, doing something we enjoy doing. 

At other times, we carry on chores and tasks without too much presence, as our mind is constantly thinking. We can choose to bring mindfulness to even our day to day tasks. To do this, begin to involve as many of your senses into your experience. See what you are seeing, hear what you are hearing, feel what you are feeling, taste what you are tasting and smell what you are smelling. Consciously involving your senses into the experience will keep you in the moment and you will be able to quieten the constant mental chatter.

Whenever there is too much going on in my mind, I like to pause, and become mindful of whatever it is that I am doing. Involving my senses and being present in the moment gives me a break from the various kinds of internal dialogues of my mind, that do nothing more than cause stress. 

Becoming mindful also helps me to have an enjoyable experience, as I am involving as many of my senses. 

You too can look at creating "mindful moments'. Notice how being present helps you to release stress, how even a very ordinary experience of say, eating a fruit, becomes a lot more enjoyable when done mindfully ( see the fruit, smell it, feel it in your mouth as you take the bite, hear the crunching sound as you bite into it, taste the sweetness of it ). 

As you get started with this practice, consciously decide to be mindful with one routine activity a day. It could be - brushing your teeth, bathing, eating a meal, an evening walk etc. Choose whichever you want and notice how it changes your experience. 

As you get adept with being mindful with one activity, begin to add more. 

Feel free to share your experiences with, "creating mindful moments"🙂

#consciousliving #practice3 #createmindfulmoments

Conscious living Practice 2 - Relax

I hope you have been practicing 'genuine smiling' to connect with fellow beings🙂 .

Today, we will talk about practicing "Relaxation as a way of life". 

Most of us do not know how to relax. We think we can finish our work or household chores & set aside some time to relax. But even when we think we are relaxing, there are a million things running in our heads making it difficult for us to truly relax.

If you were to do a quick scan of your body at this very moment, you will find that there are several muscles in your body that are unnecessarily tense. Muscles that are not contributing to the action you are performing at the moment. To release this tension you need to focus on this tensed muscle & mentally send it a message ‘to let go & relax’. You can even breathe into the area of tension and relax with every exhale.  These muscles will then automatically de-contract & relax. 

Sometimes without our knowledge, we constrict our eyebrows, hunch shoulders, tighten chest ( all signs of holding tension ). So become mindful and remind yourself to relax your shoulders, neck, jaw, space between the eyebrows. Be aware and mindful of how you physically tense yourself, and release the tension from time to time. A regular body scan will help you stay connected with your body. 

So continue smiling and stay relaxed. Do share your experiences with the practices in the comments 🙂

#consciousliving #practice 2 #stayrelaxed